nemesis.

My employment is starting to resemble something close to bipolar. I understand that there are people out there with bipolar and I mean no offence when I use the term, it just allows me to express concisely how the mood of my employment and my liking in regards to it tends to chop and change rather rapidly of late.

It's rather frustrating due to the fact that I used to actually like working in the occupation and place that I am at, where as now I tend to hate it more days that not. One day I will be happy at how it is flowing, how the new chef is going with the rest of us and generally happy with how the whole environment is running. And the next I will be professing my wishes to quit because I hate the chef and the way the establishment is run and how people that go out to places to eat treat the staff that are attempting to go out of their way to make the night comfortable.

I don't want to quit my job if I don't have to. It's actually an easy place to work as far as food slaving goes, and I find most of the other people there pretty pleasant to work with. But on the other hand I don't want to wait until I'm fired over something as small as not being able to work one shift. Like what happened tonight.
The manager approached me asking if I could work the lunch shift tomorrow, I said I wasn't available. He walks away. Five minutes later comes back saying "aren't you on holidays at the moment?", to which I reply "yes, but I have to study for an exam I have next monday". He says "monday?", I say "yes, monday. Its an anatomy exam on the whole arm". To which he replies rather stoney faced and partially angry-looking "I'm going to have to start looking for new staff".
Fair enough, the man needs someone to work tomorrow. I can see that necessity. But I also have a responsibility to study for exams that are part of a full time degree that I've only just started to undertake, and as unfortunate as it may be, it is my priority over my job. What gets me slightly riled up is that I am now in one part of my mind considering the possible outcome of losing my job due to my not being able to do this shift, which seems to be in direct ignorance of the fact that I have worked between 3 and 7 shifts every week consistently for the last eleven months without fail. Yes, I have less availability these days, yes, that may be a hindrance at times, but I will not apologise for having a five-day a week uni schedule which takes me away from being able to work every single day.
That and the fact that last year I worked copious shifts for the other food slaves that, at the time, had 8 weeks of clinical placement for their degrees.

I'm not trying to sound narky and self-righteous, I just get annoyed at how it seems to be my fault that they are understaffed and have been for the last three months. I work as much as it is possible at the moment considering the work load I'm undertaking at uni, if I could work more I would, but I can't so I won't.

I also resent the fact that I seem to be a whinging little annoyance in comparison to everyone else. Whenever I try to talk [whether it be exasperated or not] to anyone else about the current situation they either just nod and say "yeah..." or belittle me by recounting stories from "all these years I've been in hospitality". I don't want to be annoying, I just want someone to say "yeah, that's a fair point" even if they add "although, you could look at it like this" on the end.
Frustration > <"

'Ta,
Nor.